Moving in with a partner is an exciting and intimate next step in any relationship. Moving in allows you to test the waters, discover deeper compatibility, and to save on a ton on shared expenses. Two people need less electricity, water, streaming subscriptions, and delivery fees compared to living solo. You can reduce your costs, share meals, and get cozy with someone you truly enjoy spending time with. But you should also think ahead about your finances.
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Blending two financial views is a lot like sharing a bathroom for the first time: You never know where the clashes are going to occur. Two people may have perfect financial compatibility or drive each other crazy with the different ways they spend. Therefore, when moving in together, it's important to move carefully and to establish financial expectations and boundaries before a single moving box crosses the threshold.
Here at mph.bank, we are dedicated to helping people embrace every new phase of life with financial wellness. Let's take a closer look at how to manage your personal finances when moving in with a partner.
1. Maintain Separate Finances
First and foremost, don't blend your bank accounts just yet. Keep your finances separate to give you freedom and flexibility while getting used to the other person's financial habits. In a best-case scenario, you each learn a little about money management from the other's style. You can maintain your independence, protect yourself from unforeseen spending, and negotiate confidently when it comes to bills and lifestyle expenses. By keeping your accounts separate, you leave room for personal indulgences that the other may tolerate without agreeing with - like toys and hobbies - without impacting on each other's finances.
Your personal finances allow you to continue handling your own income-to-expense ratio. It's also a great way to ensure that any gifts you buy each other remain a delightful surprise.
2. Talk About How You Handle Money
Sit down and have a talk about money with your partner. Talk about how you handle money and how they handle money. It's time to have that 100% discussion about their income, your income, and how you each like to spend. Separate accounts make it possible to maintain separate spending habits if all the shared bills are covered on time.
However, there are other elements at play relating to compatibility. If you can't stand to see too much takeout food or their joy in life depends on an end-of-month shopping spree, that's something you need to talk about. Talk about what aspects of money empower you and what stresses you out. Talk about how to share a financial existence without causing strife where you disagree.
3. Discuss Lifestyle Expenses and Splitting the Bills
Next, it's time to discuss how you will split the bills. Two young adults equally new in their careers may typically split expenses 50/50. However, significantly different incomes or lifestyle details may change the equation. For example, if one partner is a homeowner and the other is moving in rent-free, they may cover more of the bills or take on some of the mortgage. If one partner has a substantially higher income, they may trade at-home support for lower rent from their partner.
On the other hand, if one partner moves their power-tools workshop into the home, they may need to take more responsibility for the electricity, while someone who requires a yard may offer to pay more of the rent for a single-family home instead of an apartment.
4. Agree on Ways to Save as a Couple
One way to keep the financial conversation lighthearted is to focus on ways you can save together. One of you can cancel your Netflix subscription and other streaming services to halve your entertainment budget. You can save on groceries and restaurants by making bulk meals together. You can save on electricity with only one set of lights, and by helping each other turn off unused items.
You can save on shopping, on gas, and on single-player steam games. You might plan to sell extra furniture or even start an e-store together with drop-shipping or Etsy crafts to improve your shared finances. Every couple has a few special ways they can save money by living together.
5. Write Down Your Money Agreements
Now that the money talk is done, write it all down. Don't function on unspoken agreements, especially when it comes to money. Write down how you plan to split the bills, how you will pay joint bills, and your agreements on how to save money together. If there is anything other than a 50/50 split, write down why - and if any services have been offered in return for a lower split like chores or daily backrubs.
Write down any budget limits - like how much is too much for a gift, or spending thresholds that require a meeting first. Write down things you've agreed to tolerate like an end-of-month splurge or meticulous saving habits. There's no need to post it on the fridge (unless you both find it fun) but keep this list of agreements to help keep the peace and maintain financial consistency in the future.
6. Sign the Lease Together
Make sure both partners sign the lease if you get an apartment or rental home together. If one partner is moving into the other's rental home, get them on the lease immediately or at the nearest lease renewal. This shares responsibility, ensuring that both parties are legally responsible for damage to the house or apartment. Just in case.
7. Share Your Deal-Breakers
Everyone has financial deal-breakers - behaviors that they need to walk away from. When planning to move in with a partner, it's a good idea to share these if you know what yours are.
If you can't stand to see someone blow their budget on designer handbags or sports memorabilia, say so. If you had a nightmare family vacation as a kid that caused fights over money and now you just can't enjoy resorts or surprise trips, tell your partner about it. This just might open the doors to some important deal-breaker revelations and childhood stories on their part.
8. Talk About Joint and Household Purchases
Finally, be prepared to talk about purchases you make as a couple. Joint purchases of things like furniture, artwork, appliances, and game consoles should be clearly discussed as to ownership or cost splitting. You might split the cost on things you both want, but a common compromise is for each partner to officially buy themselves the things they care about most.
For example, you may buy yourself a game console that sits in the living room and is shared, but you get priority hours, and the console is yours if you part ways. Or you might gift them that air-fryer they've been talking about, though you both enjoy the resulting meals. However, you may go in together on a new washing machine - and sell it if you part ways to split the value.
Moving In Together Successfully with Financial Planning
By planning your finances ahead of time, you can significantly improve the success of cohabitation. Not only can you protect yourself from the off-chance of a disaster, but you can also prepare your relationship for financial strength as your bond grows deeper. Should you choose a long-term life together, an open financial discussion creates the ability to peacefully plan your finances together and separately - and to gracefully adapt if circumstances change in the future.
For more advice and useful financial tools to create a financially healthy household, explore the services of mph.bank. We provide the tools and resources you need to manage your finances independently and successfully.
